The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity to allow your children to help with the meal preparation and offers quality time together as a family. This is a way to keep your children occupied, but is also a fun, educational activity that incorporates a range of skills and senses, such as counting, measuring, reading, touching, listening, planning, smelling, tasting, and creativity. Baking teaches children useful skills and also makes them aware of potential hazards in the kitchen. Helping in the kitchen can increase confidence, as well as encourage children to try a broader range of foods. Children are more likely to try a new recipe if they have helped in the preparation of the meal.Task allocation depends largely on the age and dexterity of the child, but there are some basic rules and tips that will make the process as safe and hassle-free as possible, remembering that children learn by observing and imitating adults. Basic Rules and Tips:
• Teach children the basics of hygiene (e.g., washing hands) before beginning food preparation, and also between stages, to avoid cross-contamination.
• To save time and small children’s frustration, be sure to cut and measure ingredients before the child begins to assist. Small children have short attention spans and may become impatient.
• Give children quick, simple instructions, one at a time, and be prepared to repeat them if they do not understand or forget what they have been told.
• Older children can be encouraged to read the recipe and help to measure out or
weigh the ingredients.
• Younger children can be involved in the mixing process by placing the ingredients in a jar with a secure lid and letting them shake the contents. This works particularly well with batters and salad dressings.
• All ages can help with frosting and decorating holiday cookies or cupcakes. Use your favorite homemade recipes, or time saving box or frozen dough for simple sugar cookies and cakes. Decoration ideas include: colored sugars, cookie cutters, frosting, icing, candies, etc…
• Always explain the potential dangers in the kitchen and the protocol for safety. Such dangers include sharp knives, hot stoves and ovens, pans of boiling liquids and invisible germs.
• Encourage the children to be involved in the cleaning-up process during and after the baking session is completed.
• For children interested in creativity with decoration, let them make up some edible “play-dough”, which they can craft into colorful centerpieces or napkin holders. Or provide children with paper, and crayons or paints to create personalized place mats for each family member and dinner guest.
• Adults make a mess when they are creating in the kitchen, so expect children to have even more mishaps.
Remember to remain calm and have a sense of adventure and humor!
Lisa Barnes is the owner of Petit Appetit, a cooking service devoted to babies and toddlers. Lisa teaches private and group cooking classes to parents throughout Northern California and is the author of The Petit Appetit Cookbook (Penguin, March 2005). Visit http://www.petitappetit.com for information.
Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 8th! Whether she lives next door or across the country, Send Mom a beautiful Fresh Flower Arrangement to celebrate her “Special Day!” Your local florist can design and deliver the perfect gift to Mom this year.
~A Vase or Basket of Mom’s Favorite flowers will be a welcome surprise. Lilies, Roses and Orchids are especially popular for Mother’s Day. Ask your local florist for creative suggestions based on your Mom’s favorite floral variety and/or colors.
~A Green or Blooming Plant can be delivered with your “Happy Mother’s Day” message. A decorative bow can be added for that special touch. Fresh Cut Flowers can also be added to a planted gift for an extra splash of color.
~A Floral Centerpiece can be created just for “Mom” to highlight her table of homecooked meals she is so famous for! Centerpieces can even be designed with a candle as an extra keepsake for Mother’s Day.
~Fruit/Gourmet Baskets offer Mom some delicious treats in a
decorative basket. Consider sending Mom some special Teas, Coffees, Cookies, Chocolates or any Gourmet treats. Ask your local florist about the many delicious options available for Gift Baskets.
Consider sending your Grandmother a floral gift on Mother’s Day as well! Mother’s Day is a perfect day to celebrate any woman in your life that you honor and respect; Your Wife, Your Grandmother, Your Daughter, Your Stepmother, Your Mother-In-Law. One final note, Mother’s Day is a busy floral holiday. We suggest ordering your floral gift a few days early to ensure timely delivery for Mom’s Special Day!
Remember to order your floral gift from a real local florist. Don’t pay a middleman to send your flowers. You will always get a better value and service when dealing directly with a professional florist.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Tenley McDonald- Former Florist- Now Co-Owner of http://www.flowerpowernetwork.com (Online Directory of Real Local Florists) Ms. McDonald has over 14 years experience in ~Consumer Relations/Marketing ~Customer Service Management ~Floral Design.
No matter how well we may have weathered our basic training, nothing can fully prepare us for the front lines of family gatherings. We’re in the thick of it, dodging live ammunition, and fighting the urge to return to our old, reliable patterns that helped us to survive while we were growing up. We may have mastered our relationship skills in one-on-one relationships. We may have improved our romantic relationships, our professional relationships and our friendships. And we may have even improved our family relationships—one family member at a time. But when we’re sitting around the holiday dinner table or socializing at a wedding reception with our entire family, it’s an entirely different experience.
For one thing, when we’re with our entire family, we have to juggle a number of different relationships at the same time. Our attention is divided at best, and for many of us, our awareness deserts us completely after the first major skirmish. We feel like we’re surrounded and have to defend ourselves from sneak attacks. We often feel that retreat is not an option. When we are cornered, we often believe that the only way that we can survive is to fight our way out, new relationship skills be damned.
While most people assume that General Sherman was referring to the Civil War when he stated, “War is hell,” in fact, he was referring to a particularly memorable Thanksgiving dinner with his family. This also explains why he could send his troops into battle without a second thought, but that the very mention of cranberry sauce would reduce him to tears.
Bearing this in mind, here are some essential tips for surviving your next family gathering.
TIP #1: Go Easy On Yourself!
The first, and most important survival tip is to remember that navigating and surviving family gatherings takes exceptional skill and often quite a bit of practice. We will not be able to transform our entire family dynamic between the salad course and the pumpkin pie. In fact, we may not be able to change our family dynamic at all—and it’s important that we accept that we don’t need to. It’s not our responsibility to help our family members resolve their issues. We’re only responsible for resolving our responses to their issues. Our objective is to maintain our own safety and validation accounts, focus our awareness, and survive the family event reasonably unscathed.
However, maintaining our awareness while we’re relating to our families takes practice! We must go easy on ourselves. We may react when we would rather respond. We may be drawn into old arguments. Whatever happens, we need to accept that it is perfect. We are doing our best, and that’s all we can ever ask of ourselves. And remember that our awareness that we’re acting out an old pattern is, in itself, a change in that pattern! As we develop our awareness, we will spend less time caught in our old patterns. Over time, our awareness will help us to make lasting and permanent changes in those patterns.
Tip #2: Go Easy On Your Family
This piece of advice is equally as important as going easy on ourselves, but it’s often a bit more challenging to follow. Essentially, we must be willing to forgive our relatives for everything. We must be able to accept that they only ever did the best they could at any given time. We need to begin to recognize and relate to our families as people instead of as family members. We need to begin to know them for who they are, and not simply for who they are to us.
When we embrace the truth that even our family members are individualized aspects of All That Is, our relationships with our families will shift dramatically. Our family members are some of the most powerful teachers we will ever encounter in our lives. They also tend to be the most accurate and powerful mirrors for us, which, of course, is why we often find it so difficult to love and accept our family members unconditionally. In order to love our family members, we would also need to be able to love and accept ourselves.
Even so, we can love our family members unconditionally and still only choose to sit down to eat with them once a year.
Tip #3: Use The Bathroom As A Sanctuary When Needed
In our other relationships, we can usually recognize when we feel unsafe and move to a safe space so we can disengage our egos. Once we restore the balance in our safety account, we can return to the discussion and explore it without feeling threatened—and without threatening our partner in return. When we feel unsafe in our family relationships, however, many of us feel that we’re obligated to stay and fight. This is simply not the case.
When we are aware that we feel triggered by a family member,
we can simply choose to excuse ourselves and visit the bathroom. The bathroom is the one place that we can be assured of our privacy, and we can stay there as long as we need to. We can use the bathroom as a sanctuary where we can regain our composure and gather our strength so that we feel safe enough to return to the battle. If any of our family members are indelicate enough to comment on how much time we seem to be spending in the bathroom, we can always plead an upset stomach or a weak bladder.
Tip #4: Lose The Battle To Win The War
We have to be very clear about our objectives in terms of our family relationships. If our ultimate goal is to improve our family relationships, we have to be willing to stay focused on the big picture. The most difficult lesson for most of us to accept is that in order to win the war, we have to be willing to lose the battle. Our long-term objective is to feel more safe and more validated in our family relationships. To reach this goal, we must help our family members to feel safe and validated. In order to do this, we must be absolutely clear that we are capable of meeting our own safety and validation needs.
We often experience our families as competitive environments. Our old blueprints tell us that there’s a limited amount of safety and validation available, and that we must compete with the other members of our family to meet our needs. We insult and snipe at each other because we can only feel safe and validated if the balance in our accounts is greater than the balance in everyone else’s accounts. The more we care about earning other people’s approval and validation, the more vulnerable we are. When one of our family members makes a comment designed to make us feel less valid, we do not need to defend ourselves. We can recognize that this person is asking to be validated, and we can validate them. Sometimes, this means letting them think that we are less successful, accomplished, and generally wonderful than we truly are.
We must be willing to lose every single family argument we encounter. Letting our family members win the argument allows them to feel safe and validated. As long as we remember that we create our own safety and validation, and we do not need to compete with our family members, we can lose the argument because it will help us to win the war. We must let our family members believe that they are right about whatever the issue is, no matter how blatantly wrong they actually are.
We know the truth. That will have to be enough for us.
Tip #5: Always, Ever, Never
If we want to relate to our family members as they are now and not as we remember them being in the past, we must eliminate three words from our vocabulary: always, ever and never. In the lexicon of family “discussions,” always, ever and never are relationship air-raid sirens. They signal that an attack has been launched and it’s time to duck and cover. Specifically, we must avoid some of our favorite statements in our family relationships such as, “You always behave this way,” “When have you ever supported me?” and “You never give me any credit.” If we find ourselves using any of these words in a similar context, it’s a red flag that we’re focused on the past and not on the present. Likewise, when our family members use these words about us, they’re relating to us as we were, not as we are.
As soon as we become aware that we are using these words, we must stop. It’s likely that our use of these words has made our family member feel unsafe and invalid. We can apologize for having used one of these words, and acknowledge that we have been unfair. Something about the current discussion has triggered an unpleasant association for us. If appropriate, we can rephrase the statement, keeping it specific to the present.
If we’re on the receiving end of always, ever, never statements, we can choose to respond, rather than to react. In the middle of a family get-together, the wisest choice is often to deflect the statement, perhaps even acknowledge that the statement may have some validity when applied to the past, and then change the subject. If the discussion has uncovered an old wound, the wound will still be there for us to heal at a more appropriate time and in a more appropriate environment.
Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit http://www.EveryRelationship.comfor a FREE Report on creating Amazing Relationships.
TRUTH and UNDERSTANDING – An electronic magazine of real knowledge
Millions, perhaps billions of people will once again run full throttle into the upcoming fall and winter holiday seasons of Halloween and Christmas. Many fully acknowledge that the customs of these events are deeply rooted in paganism.
Many take paganism as an ugly word, but it simply means teachings of the nations that did not know the Jewish or Hebrew God of the Bible. An important point to always remember is that the Hebrews or Israelites and not the nations (non Hebrews) were the ones who brought us the knowledge of God. Even in the New Testament we know that Jesus and the Apostles were Israelites. This is why scripture says, “You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews.” So it always comes as a surprise to me that the tail (the nations) tries to wag the dog when it comes to religious knowledge. Yet this is what is commonly allowed in the so-called Christian holidays.
The Catholic encyclopedia seems to struggle somewhere between acknowledging that modern Christianity has incorporated pagan teachings and no it is just a coincidence. A coincidence? When you look at the preponderance of coincidences like a day for all the dead Saints that comes on the heels of an ancient Celtic fire festival called Samhain (notice that this is a nations non Hebrew pagan teaching here) now called Halloween in which we have children dressing as demons, ghosts and skeletons or we shift to Christmas and really examine through some simple web research about the origin of these Bacchanalian or Saturnalia type festivities.
Research the origins of the Yule log, tree, mistletoe, wreaths, greenery, birthdays, gifts, caroling (yes even seemingly innocent Christmas carols are from ancient circle dances dealing with fertility rites of the medieval Celtic countries of Europe) and lights. Bacchanalian festivities also had parties celebrated with drinking and promiscuity orgies and riotousness. The Saturnalia festivities also included exchanging gifts, greenery, lights etc. It is impossible to ignore that we have ties to teachings of the nations or pagans that we have justified just as the Bible says, “everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” Yet again the Bible says, “what communion has light with darkness?” But we say we cleaned it all up. Why we Christianized it Lord! Yet again the Bible says, “Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? No one!”
But some may ask isn’t it all ok. Can’t we just have some fun? Why half the stuff I do isn’t really Christian related, I just do it for fun and I’m not thinking of Christ. I’ve seen these attitudes. They are attitudes of someone who thinks they have some distinguishable alter ego. That somehow we can separate ourselves from ourselves like some type of Jekyl and Hyde. But do you think you can really hide half of yourself from before the Lord? The Bible says, “For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord” and “He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord” Therefore all we do is in plain sight of God.
So how dangerous is all this? Well this is what I call mixing of religions or religious practices. Though it appears to be innocent by most, truly it is the most dangerous of all sins. Believe it or not this is something that gets God absolutely furious. Notice God said, “do not inquire after their gods, saying, ‘How did these nations serve their gods? I also will do likewise.’ You shall not worship the LORD your God in that way”. If
nothing else notice the word nations in the above. God is saying do not adapt the practices of the nations. In another example from the book of Ezekiel we read, “Son of man, do you see what they are doing, the great abominations that the house of Israel commits here, to make Me go far away from My sanctuary?” What was this sanctuary? Why it was God’s temple back in the Old Testament. What were they doing to drive God far from His Temple? Well a further read says they were doing things like bringing in, “every sort of creeping thing, abominable beasts, and all the idols”, the Bible says the, “women were sitting there weeping for Tammuz.” (It is known that there were ancient pagan religions that practiced weeping. Tammuz was an agricultural god who got weak as summer waned on and we all know how we get sad as summer nears its end, so they wept) and the Bible reads, “twenty-five men with their backs toward the temple of the LORD and their faces toward the east, and they were worshiping the sun toward the east” (hey look it’s a first Easter sunrise worship.)
The point of all this is that it all occurred in God’s temple. They had stained, soiled, desecrated and defiled the Temple of God by bringing in the ways and teachings of the nations, the pagans, those who did not have a knowledge of proper worship of the true God. After all, why do you think they were called pagans? Because they were stupid, get it? And why is it that their knowledge is so great now that it is brought into Christianity? Because we are stupid I guess. Belittling God’s Temple is not relegated just to the Old Testament. I’m sure we all remember how infuriated Jesus became when He encountered the merchandising in the Temple and made a whip and started to crack some heads. Some things are just off limits.
But now for the biggie because there is a scripture that we need to look long and hard at which says, “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.” Defiling our human temple here is no different than all we just read about defiling the physical one. Simply intermix paganism, mix in the bad with the good and you are defiled. As a matter of fact if you mix in any ways of any kind of disobedience you are on your way to defilement and utter destruction.
Disobedience leads to destruction, but obedience and a humble spirit leads one to salvation. It is your disobedience that caused Christ to have to die for our sins (our disobedience) so why do we think it is ok to continue to disobey? Now that you have learned nothing from paganism, for what did you learn from the Yule log or dressing your child up as an Easter egg? Why not learn from God about His holidays? Most people do not even know that God also has Holidays (Holy Days). Well He does and there are seven of them that He commands us to observe.
You can learn about the true holidays that you never knew of from our website at www.cornerstone1.org
Glenn Williams is editor at Cornerstone Evangelical Association. A site dedicated to teach Christians are not to separate from Old Testament laws yet still look to Christ for salvation. You can sign up for a free weekly newsletter at http://www.cornerstone1.org or mailto:subscribe@cornerstone1.org
Don’t fall into the standard gift trap. Give your recipient something out of the ordinary. By giving one of these unique gift ideas your recipient will be pleased and feel very special.
Many of us have golf lovers in our lives, golf balls, gloves, golf bags, tees, and golf clubs come to mind repeatedly. Add a twist to your standard golf club gift, by having it engraved with their name or a special phrase which will give an already great gift greater personal value. This will also help the golfer easily identify his equipment if it’s lost on the course.
When your looking for that gift that says “Hey, let’s have a party”, or “Let’s have a quiet evening in front of the TV”, send them the newest sensation: flavored popcorn baskets. You can purchase the popcorn in all kinds of flavors and types allowing you to choose specific to their taste. It’s a great gift even for the whole family.
For a gift that offers a parent the feeling of a little more security and safety for their child, give Child ID kits. These kits are available in a multitude of types from strictly picture ID kits, fingerprinting kits, as well as DNA kits and a mixture of all. Always advise the parent to have their child’s information registered with the authorities in the case of an emergency, which allows traceability that otherwise would not be there. Give the gift that says you truly care about that child’s well being and safety
For the bookworm give the gift that keeps on going for months to come. Don’t just
buy them that one book by the one author you know they like. Enroll them in a Month-to-Month Book Club. This gives them the opportunity to be exposed to a variety of books/authors and can also allow them the capability of discussing the books with others.
This gift is great for anyone young or old, male or female send someone you want to share your memories with stamps with your very on pictures on them. Yes, real USPS stamps that you can use or just keep, to add to you families very own and unique stamp collection. These very personalized items make great gifts.
Now for that someone who has everything and seems to want or need nothing, here is a great out of the ordinary gift idea: buy them shares in a company that they support. Companies such as McDonalds will often send certificates stating that the share(s) has (have) been purchased. This is not only a great gift now but can be even greater later on or should we say it has the potential to be even more valuable later on.
Whether it is someone you know well or just an acquaintance you like a lot everyone loves to know they’re thought of often. The ideas above are some fabulous unique gift ideas that will let the recipient know just that.
Adriana Copaceanu provides people with creative gift ideas that don’t blow the bank. Find many Unique Gift Ideas at her site. In a hurry to get a gift? Check her Gifts 911, where you’ll find last minute gifts for any occasion.
Valentine’s Day can be a depressing day when you’re in an unhappy or shaky marriage. In every store or advertisement you see romantic cards, heart-shaped boxes of candy, or select jewelry for the special lover’s day.
Restaurants publish their special menus in advance and give food items names such as “lover’s delight chocolate dessert.” Radio stations sponsor contests focused around the theme of Valentine’s Day, and newspapers run pictures and stories about spouses with long marriages.Everywhere you turn, you are bombarded with pictures and stories of happy lovers.
What can you do to survive Valentine’s Day when you are worried sick that your marriage is on the rocks? How do you deal with all the love hoopla when your spouse doesn’t know if he or she really loves you or wants to stay married?
The following seven tips will help you to keep your perspective and sanity:
1. Be your own valentine this year and celebrate the wonderful person that you are. Make an appointment to have a massage or pedicure on Valentine’s Day as a present to yourself. Or make plans with a friend to dine at a gourmet restaurant either on Valentine’s Day or the day before. Buy yourself a new CD or book that you’ve been wanting. Leave work early, if possible, and do something fun such as going to a movie in the middle of the work afternoon.
2. Make a commitment to love yourself and to treat yourself with care and respect. Resolve to take good care of yourself by exercising, eating right, taking time to relax and see friends, and getting enough rest. Throw any martyr tendencies out the window and make your health and wellbeing a top priority. This is not being selfish. If you don’t nurture yourself first, you won’t be in any shape to give quality energy and time to your marriage.
3. Commit to being okay no matter what happens in your marriage. It’s essential that you make yourself a promise that you’ll have a quality life with or without your spouse. By showing respect for yourself and belief in your ability to thrive whether married or not, you’ll be coming from a place of empowerment and strength. The attributes of personal strength and confidence attract others and engender respect, making you a more desirable partner.
4. Accept uncertainty and see it as an opportunity to flex your faith muscles, build resiliency, and develop the discipline to live in the
present moment as much as possible. With practice, you can learn to curb your tendency to worry about the future and can expand more of your energy into making the most of the time you have now. Everyone has periods of time when everything is up in the air and how things will turn out is unknown. And as poet Walt Whitman reminds us, “The future is no more uncertain than the present.”
5. Practice having fun, even when you’re feeling miserable! Don’t wait until your life is perfect to plan fun activities. Do something that you’ve wanted to do but have put off. You might have said to yourself, “One day I’m going to take piano lessons.” Now is the time to get started. Make a list of things that you’d enjoy doing and pick one to put on your schedule. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to wait and see what happens in your marriage before you take steps to create a more satisfying life. The time to start enjoying life is now.
6. Expand your support circle. Stay in touch with your friends, even though your first impulse may be to withdraw when you’re feeling blue. Look for ways to increase your contact with others such as taking a night class, going hiking with a local hiking group, or attending services at your church, synagogue, or mosque. Don’t let fear of questions keep you at home. You can be discrete and give a response such as, “I can’t get into it, but I appreciate your caring and concern so very much. Thank you.”
7. Find your strong woman or strong man warrior energy. Go rappelling, learn to scuba dive, ride in a hot air balloon, try para-sailing, plan a backpacking trip, go horseback riding, lift weights, explore river rafting, dance around a campfire, sing powerful songs, or sign up for a martial arts class. Do whatever empowers you and make you feel strong and energetic. Stretch out of your comfort zone and surprise yourself by doing something different. Then congratulate yourself for your spunk.
Tips adapted from the book Keep Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” by Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. and Lee Hefner. Available only at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
The Holidays are once again apon us, which mean fun, family, festivity, and most of all feasting. It seems that once Halloween is here, there is a little green light that goes off, signaling the beginning of the Holiday buffets. Our times are filled with family, friends, and celebration. Just the mention of the word Holiday can bring visions of cookies, pastries, chocolate, and any other delectable foods to mind that I have tried so hard to stay away from. It seems that once the Holiday parties begin, it is just a given that the Holiday cravings should go right along with it. The good news is, there is a way you can beat those Holiday cravings and still have a fun and happy Holiday. It’s called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).
The great thing about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is that it is a fabulous tool you can take with you to every party, family gathering, social event, restaurant, and any other Holiday affair you may have to attend. The best thing about EFT is that know one need to know but you, it’s your little secret. EFT can help you stop a craving dead in its tracks. Keep in mind, you will want to use EFT to deal with the underlying reason as to why you have food cravings, in doing this, you can create a permanent change in your eating habits, which will give you a greater peace of mind. But at the moment, the main issue is what to do about the overloaded table of goodies, calling your name, just ready to jump on your plate. You need Help, now!
What Do I Do?
Start with your affirmation. Take a deep breath and begin to TAP. You can tap right there at the table, confronting the culprit, the table of delicious goodies. Don’t let them ruin your evening. State an affirmation and start tapping.
“Even though I really want to eat this________, I love myself completely.”
“Even though I am craving this________, I love myself completely.”
“Even though the short-term pleasure of eating this________ is call to me, I choose to honor my long-term needs and eat only food that truly nourishes my body.”
“Even though I want to ignore the guilt that I’m already feeling, I love myself
completely.”
Feel free to say whatever you’re feeling, it’s your affirmation. Be sure to end your affirmation with a positive statement about yourself or how you choose to act or fell, even if you don’t fully believe it yet. Don’t be afraid to do several rounds of tapping if that’s what it takes. After your done, take a deep breath, and see how you feel. If you still are having those cravings, tap again. Be sure to pay attention to what you’re thinking in addition to how you’re feeling. If you happen to have new thoughts come up, tap on those thoughts and the feelings that go with them. Tap until you feel completely calm and can walk away from the table.
Reward Yourself!
You’ve WON, now take the time to congratulate yourself. Do a few rounds of tapping with an affirmation that applauds you for your success. Whether you do it now or when you get home, be sure to do it. Resisting a craving is not always an easy thing to do. I know, I still battle temptation at times. It happens to all of us. If you don’t know what to say, imagine what your best friend of husband would say to you.
“Good job! I’m so pleased with myself.”
“I honor my strength and courage.”
“I am so grateful to myself for eating well and caring for my body.”
“My body feels so good as a result of my healthy food choices.”
Any of these affirmations are great to use in congratulating yourself.
Remember that many of your food cravings have nothing to do with physical cravings and are emotionally based. While many of us will be tempted, try focusing on the real meaning of the holdiays and you’ll quickly see that family and friends are at the center. Take advantage of this time with your loved ones, and to talking and being with those who you care about. You too can be Winning At Weight Loss!
Kathy is a certified weight loss coach who has lost 250 pounds and kept it off for good! Support your weight loss program with her unique system that helps you get to the root of your eating problems! Lose weight safely and keep it off! Visit Kathy at WinningAtWeightLoss.com
“I challenge anybody in their darkest moment to write what they’re grateful for, even stupid little things like green grass or a friendly conversation on the elevator. You start to realize how rich you are.” – Jim Carrey
Over the years I’ve written several columns on the issue of gratitude, many around this time of year. Now, when a columnist writes often on a subject, there are a few things this could mean:
1) he thinks it’s important,
2) he knows a lot about it,
3) he likes the subject, or
4) he’s got nothing else to write about.
Go with number one, with maybe a little bit of two and three, hopefully not number four.
Regular readers of this column know that I like to write about practical things, and stay away from what I call the “squishy psycho-babble stuff.” The issue of gratitude can sound like a squishy concept. In reality, it’s a very practical concept. Call it an attitude of gratitude, thanks-living instead of thanksgiving, whatever you like.
An attitude of gratitude
From a practical point of view, having an attitude of gratitude simply gets you more in life. This is because of a simple yet powerful rule of life that we often ignore: We get more out of what we focus on. If we focus on all that we don’t have, on what others have that we don’t, on all that we lack, we end up feeling lacking. Focusing on what we don’t have results in envy at best, and, at worst, results in beating ourselves up for all the mistakes we’ve made. Not a really helpful or productive way to live.
On the other hand, when we
focus on the many things for which we have to be grateful, we realize just how blessed and rich we really are. When you feel blessed and rich, you feel much more alive, and thus more motivated to live the life you desire.
A few suggestions
So now, at the beginning of this holiday season, here is my challenge. Make a list of all the things for which you are grateful. Make a long list. Here are a few questions to get you started:
What have you been grateful for in the past?
What can you be grateful for in the present?
Who has helped you in your career?
Who has been there for you when you needed someone the most?
What can you be grateful for in you family? In your marriage?
What can you be grateful for in your job?
What are you grateful for in the last year, month, week, even today?
These questions should get you started. Keep the list with you, and when you notice your perspective shifting toward the wall reread your list to turn your focus back to where you want to go.
If you notice a few names on your gratitude list, contact them and thank them for their contribution to your life. Let them know they made the list. They will feel great, and so will you.
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I decided to deviate from my normal discussion of marketing andadvertising to discuss a major gift giving holiday.
Mother’s day is coming soon. May 8th to be exact. That is right around the corner. Did you ask your mom what she wanted for Mother’s Day? Did she give you one of those “Whatever you think of is fine, dear.” answers? Or even better, did she say, “Oh you don’t have to get me anything.”Here are some suggestions of things to get your mom for Mother’s day.
Gift Certificates to a spa.Tickets to the theater(movie, opera, musicals, whatever she’s into).Something personalized with your picture on it.There are lots of places online that will put your picture on a wide array of items:hats, tote bags, mugs, the list goes on and on.This is especially good if you live far away from your mother.She will always have something to remember you by while you are away.Time to herself (see the spa idea).Cook instead of waiting all
day at a restaurant.Spend some time with her. Sometimes that is even better than the most expensive thing you could find in the store.A coupon to do the laundry (or whatever other chore your mom hates) for a month.If you have small children in the family, offer to babysit.
Those are just a few ideas that I have come up with. Feel free to post some other ideas in the comment section of the ezine.
It’s true that you should not wait until Mother’s Day to show your Mom how much you appreciate her. However, since this day has been set aside to honor mothers, then take some extra time to make it special for your Mom.
Copyright 2005 by DeAnna Spencer
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The gods don’t ask for human sacrifice anymore, do they? Then why do millions of women turn themselves into burnt offerings each winter?
It hits about mid-November: Obsessive Giving Disorder. Turning ordinary women into Nurturing Ninjas. Hopped-up on hospitality hormones, they launch into a frenzy of baking, shopping, decorating, crocheting, hosting, serving, costuming, shopping, wrapping, preserving and worshipping madly at the altar of Toxic Traditions. It becomes a Superbowl of Martyrdom when every shred of selfhood disappears into the Bermuda Triangle of Holiday Obligation.
Is there a cure?
Not yet. Whatever drives this compulsion–whether it’s ancestral memories of hoarding for winter, internalized domestic programming or the ultimate holiday horror: the fear of disappointing someone–Oh my god, the pony didn’t make her eyes light up! –OGD has to run its course. A chemical, seasonal, cultural imbalance, in December it becomes the alpha motivator: The Big Dogma. BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE it commands.
SO YOU’RE SINKING IN HOLIDAY DOGMA-DOO.
“Well, maybe if I just get organized,” you say. “Put my to-do list in order.”
Careful–that’s the disease talking.
The Holiday To-Do list has a life of its own. It grows faster than a B-Movie mutation. Forget trying to contain it. A need-meeter’s brain is a warm moist incubator for this fungus.
The only hope of surviving the Curse of Caring Too Much is to leave the monster alone and attack the lesser demons: the Beta stressors–those second-string compulsions.
You can start by turning your imagination around.
USING YOUR WHAT-IFS FOR GOOD INSTEAD OF EVIL
We’re great at imagining the family unit will go supernova if we don’t live up to our over-doing reputations. In retrospect it’s always obvious: holidays never meet everyone’s expectations. And does it matter? Are lives lost?
Imagination can be an ally when we ask:
Would the world come to an end if I made potatoes from a box?
Would the dinner table turn into Lord of the Flies if I didn’t sculpt every family pet out of marzipan this year?
Would Charlie end up in therapy for abandonment issues if I didn’t crochet his name onto that videogame cozy?
Congratulate yourself every time you let go of omnipotence.
But when you’re up against Toxic Traditions, you’ll need more in your arsenal than just what-ifs.
Dogma-doers must minimize their exposure to the needs of others.
PINK EXCUSES
Remember Little White Lies? They spare the feelings of others. Pink lies spare your own as well!
Need-meeters are obligation magnets. They cannot screen out the pleading eyes or the passive-aggressive demands. Excuses that buy you a little time out are crucial because absence is an anal accommodator’s only defense.
There are three basic categories of Pink Lies:
Why you have to leave early.
Why you have to come late.
Why you have to leave in the middle.
EXAMPLES:
THE MEDICAL STAND-BY: I have: (pick one: allergies, female
troubles, New Guinea Flu or if necessary: “some kind of oozing pussy rash”)
THE BIG GUNS: “I have to go in for a pre-surgical consultation and I won’t be able to fly out that day”
THE POOR ME: “I made two huge pots of my favorite ginger Sherry pumpkin soup and then I set it on top of my car and drove off. Maybe next year.”
THE I’LL BE RIGHT BACK: “I forgot to get the sour cream—No, it’s a special l kind and I am the only one who knows where to find it.” When you return after three blissful hours, bravely recount your wretched Odyssey to twenty-six 7-11’s.
THE NOT MY FAULT: My husband decided to go find his birth mother, we’re leaving for the Philippines tonight. (Always use someone else as your excuse whenever possible.)
From the banal to the sublime, migraines to court-ordered community service, the Pink Lie buys you a little separation from your demanding fans. But don’t forget you need to stay one step ahead of your internal Perfection Police.
SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE: SWEET BLESSED FAILURE
It’s important to set yourself up for failure. Yes, for failure.
For falling short of your massive potential. Not an easy task for an OGD. You must plan carefully and remain vigilant.
MAKING YOUR TO-DON’T LIST
An anal accommodator is incapable of limiting the guest list to three digits or stopping at sixteen sets of meringue crèche figures. She cannot spend less, do less, coddle less, say yes less. So she must look for something that she can eliminate. Naturally, it will be a non-holiday related task since the whole Yule area of the brain has been taken over by MARTIAL LAW.
Ask yourself: Where can I economize my energy?
If you were devoting extra hours to anther kind of winter disaster like clearing mudslides, housing the homeless, you would probably lighten up on routine domestic chores at home. Cut yourself the same slack.
Try out this delicious TO-DON’T LIST SAMPLER
Don’t change clothes for three days.
Don’t cook anything but microwave food on Fridays and Tuesdays.
Don’t help your son with homework on Mondays.
Don’t clean the refrigerator.
Don’t volunteer cupcakes.
Don’t change the sheets till New Year’s.
Be sure and WRITE DOWN your To-Don’t List
And when you have not done them, check them off proudly! You stole back a little time. That’s a rare achievement for a compulsive Dogma-Doer—truly something to celebrate!====
Joan Bechtel @2005 All Rights Reserved
Resource Box: Joan Bechtel, award-winning comedienne, early childhood educator and author of MOTHERHOOD CONFIDENTIAL, is a Personalized Parenting speaker, helping women out of the dogma-doo to find their own personally-correct answers. For free tips: When Motherhood Tears Friendship Apart-7 way to Keep It Together, 10 Antidotes to Toxic Taboos, Guide to Creating Your Own Internal U.N. go to http://www.MotherhoodConfidential.com